I have a goal, which is to get RM8000 monthly income by March 2020. I'm supposed to believe it, feel good about it and not sweat about the how. I feel
So, the day after. It’s not officially 24 hours yet (although I don’t know how long the euphoria will last. But the better question is, why am I e
If only I would wake up at this hour everyday. How is it that I can wake up every Friday, and not other days? Is it because there's something to look
I have a messy head. Literally, and figuratively lol. I have dry, itchy, flaky scalp that I've been picking on for this past week, and I also have A LOT of thoughts running through my head. Seriously, doesn't it stop? God.
Most of my thoughts, aren't good. There's a lot of negative talk, putting down, beating up.
I feel satisfaction when I've done work or something, and sometimes feel proud, but I don't think about it long enough. Or I don't think it at all. Like I've just finished Al Khayr's landing page and uploaded it to staging. And I feel relieved, satisfied. But I don't give any thought to it after that.
I should, shouldn't I? Some athlete said he doesn't listen to himself talk, he TALKS to himself instead. Because the voices in our heads are really mean. They just find the worst in you.
I know why I don't post pictures of myself. Or what I do. It's not because I'm shy or I think it's a waste of time. I just don't want people to know the current state I'm in. I let people come up with their assumption about my life. I just give them the vibe that I have my shit together.
But that's so phony!
That's why I hate myself more. That's why I don't get things done (reach my goals). Because I'm too embarrassed to admit to people (or myself?) that I'm still far away from my goal. That I'm NOWHERE near my goal.
I want to stop using my mom's money. I want to pay her back. I want to buy new clothes for my kids, sign them up for activities.
See when I write that, I feel sad and contracted and stiff. I feel sorry for myself when I write it. How am I supposed to attract more money if I'm giving the vibe that I don't deserve it? That I'm desperate for it? Longing. I know I THINK I deserve more money, but my body is giving out an opposite vibe.
It all starts with a thought, so let's find the thought.
I got the RM10k I cashed out from Prudential, the one I intended on paying my credit card. I was looking forward to get it and was excited when I fina