I didn't thought download this morning, I did EFT instead. I found back the list of emotional baggages I did in 2018, when through the first 3-4 points to see if I still felt anything. And I did for some, so I decided to try tapping for it. It was easier than imagining up the past and to say "I forgive you" and all that I was supposed to do. I didn't I know about this sooner? But then I don't know la if it will be gone forever or the emotions will come back. I did EFT of these emotional baggages:
I sort of know what I want to thought download about today. About why I don’t finish a project or why I quickly move on to something else. Not just why la, the whole thing. What was my thought? A lot. Tak best la. Lambat la. Banyak kerja la nak buat benda tu. Rasa excited at just the prospect of it. But bila dah start tu, jadi takde mood. Macam, oh, boring la. Wasn’t what I expected. Macam Hockademy. Mula-mula nak, bila dah dapat, hmm tak buat-buat. Figment. Kerina nye straws Tya nye sambal Planning part, churning out ideas - no, “possibilities” - is exciting. The possibility of what it could become. But bila nak make it become something, I back down? Why ah? I wasn’t anticipating the hard work? I know there’s going to be work, and at that moment, I want and willing to work for it. But after a while it sizzles out. I think because of the thoughts la. Half way through, I’d think, too long la benda ni, aku ada banyak lagi benda nak kena buat. Yang lagi penting. And then most of the time, I’d ended up not doing anything.