LoA-ing a house

It's been 2 days since I last journaled. I think that's a good improvement, considering I've been skipping 5-7 days on average. I would like to make i

I wonder

There are things that I need to think about, that I need to sort out, but I'm refusing to. Kenapa? Tak tau. Sebab aku rasa serabut. I can literally fe

Anxious

Hi. Good morning. It's 7:30am. I wanted to wake up earlier, but I guess this is OK. Given lately that my body hurts. Lenguh. Maybe sebab tak exercise

The Endless Loop

I woke up this morning, before the kids are up. That's quite rare nowadays. I was actually a bit sleepy, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. Som
I've been meaning to journal for a while now, but I've either been distracted to play WoW instead or sleep altogether. Lately, I know I've not been fe

LoTP

I truly have lost sight of what I want to achieve, how I want to live, etc. I have lost the sense of excitement, the spark to keep on moving forward,

I have ill feelings towards people

I realise I'm having not-so-nice thoughts about other people's "perceived" success. And I tend to come up with excuses. "Anak ko dua orang boleh ah". Hey, but that is sort of true. The people who macam "have it all*" kononnya, ada 2 anak je.

Getting things done

Yesterday night I had a realisation that I'm using my kids as excuses to not work. And as much as I hate to admit it, it is true. I'm displacing my guilt, my procrastinating on my kids. Masking my procrastination as busy, because my kids are at home. Well, last week before FMCO they weren't at home, but I still didn't get anything done. Do I want to work with Vasos on this? Or do I want to try it out first on my own? I wonder how I can do this on my own? What do I want to change? What do I want to change? What don't I like about it? I don't like procrastinating. I want to be motivated and get it done. I want to do it happy. Why do I want to get things done?