It's been 2 days since I last journaled. I think that's a good improvement, considering I've been skipping 5-7 days on average. I would like to make i
There are things that I need to think about, that I need to sort out, but I'm refusing to. Kenapa? Tak tau. Sebab aku rasa serabut. I can literally fe
Hi. Good morning. It's 7:30am. I wanted to wake up earlier, but I guess this is OK. Given lately that my body hurts. Lenguh. Maybe sebab tak exercise
I woke up this morning, before the kids are up. That's quite rare nowadays. I was actually a bit sleepy, but I didn't want to go back to sleep. Som
I'm sucked into playing WoW again, but this time it doesn't even bring me much satisfaction anymore. In fact, I wonder what I'm doing on it. But as us
I've been meaning to journal for a while now, but I've either been distracted to play WoW instead or sleep altogether. Lately, I know I've not been fe
I truly have lost sight of what I want to achieve, how I want to live, etc. I have lost the sense of excitement, the spark to keep on moving forward,
I realise I'm having not-so-nice thoughts about other people's "perceived" success. And I tend to come up with excuses. "Anak ko dua orang boleh ah". Hey, but that is sort of true. The people who macam "have it all*" kononnya, ada 2 anak je.
Yesterday night I had a realisation that I'm using my kids as excuses to not work. And as much as I hate to admit it, it is true. I'm displacing my guilt, my procrastinating on my kids. Masking my procrastination as busy, because my kids are at home. Well, last week before FMCO they weren't at home, but I still didn't get anything done. Do I want to work with Vasos on this? Or do I want to try it out first on my own? I wonder how I can do this on my own? What do I want to change? What do I want to change? What don't I like about it? I don't like procrastinating. I want to be motivated and get it done. I want to do it happy. Why do I want to get things done?
Maybe my thoughts are:
"I have a lot of kids, I’m too busy with my kids to think about my business, to get out of this place."