Hey, I needed to do a quick thought download this morning, because I’m sort of feeling a bit down? And that’s not how I want to start the day. Plus, starting the day meeting people with high energy, I want to be on the same level as them. That’s it, girl. Make more money. Show up. What’s the person that I have to be, to receive RM15000 monthly income? I have to be wanting to work for it. And working for it doesn’t mean sitting in front of the computer bending down., doing work. It means showing up, telling people about yourself, offer services to people, offer ideas to people, be visible, show yourself, HAVE FUN. That’s the point!
Void of feelings lagi ke pagi ni? Tak jugak, sebab I feel angry, for a number of things. One, I woke up at 5am but I couldn’t journal because Fariz decided to wake up as well after aku kencing and I had to nurse him for 1.25 hours. I couldn’t journal on my phone because my screen cracked again and I’ve already had splinters in my fingertip from the cracks yesterday night, so I’m no risking that again. Taking the glass shards out was fucking painful. So I woke up early for what?
Ever since my dad was admitted to the hospital, I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if I should feel sad. I know by right, by basic, normal human standards, I would feel sad. And I probably did, but I didn't want to feel it.
Why is it that when I want something really awesome and extravagant in my life, I’ll take a step back and think, “Oh but if I have lesser version of it pun ok, as long as I have one”
Omg, I was trying to do the forgiveness step of my emotional decluttering process, when I uncovered MORE painful memories in my life. (I have a whole list which I'm not going to post here, but as I was writing it out, there were lot of things that justified my personality).