I don't want to ask why because I think it's fruitless. How is it ok for him to say things to me that hurt my feelings and he doesn't even fucking rea


Bangun-bangun pagi utk sahur aku dah bengang gila dah ngan laki aku. Apa tunjuk hero ke apa? Dengan muka macam penat gila nak ckp kat aku dia lipat baju pukul sampai 2:30 pagi. Ko expect aku nak pat you in the back? MEMANG TAK LA. KO IGT KO HERO KE. BODO KE APA???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! PASTU JAP GI SATU HARI NI, KO TIDO. KATA NAK GI SAHUR. SAHUR LANCAU APEBENDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GERAM LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BABI LAAAA KO NAK CARI PASAL PENATKAN BADAN APAHAL?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KO NAK TUNJUK KO APA??? LAKI OF THE YEAR?? PANTAT, AKU PUN PENAT LA!!! AKU PUN KERJA LAAA TAPI JANGAN JADI BODO LAAAAAAAA PASTU HARI NI KO NAK BANGUN PUKUL BERAPA?? SIAL LAH TAK PUASA LAGI LA HARI NI!!!!! IF YOU'RE DUMB, MAKE STUPID DECISIONS AND ARE AN

Kau boleh berambus

Fuck! Aku tak peduli laa yang ko nak kahwin. Aku tak peduli la apa kau nak letak kat kad jemputan kau! Aku tak peduli la rumah tu mcm mana. Ko nak hid

Excuses or legit reasons?

At this phase, I'm just finding excuses not to do anything. For example:
Let's crochet the Christmas tree sample


I feel like I did nothing today. And that may be true. I can't remember what I did that was meaningful today. I just know I didn't do what I planned to do. Work. I've identified the source of laziness. I wasn't lazy. I was resisting. I was resisting the work. I don't know why. The other day I realised I didn't plan my days properly, and that's why I would stay up late to compensate for not being productive. But now that I've planned my days, I didn't follow through. I'm resisting. What did I do today? Let's see... I sent the kids, got back around 9:45 AM. Had breakfast. Watched Netflix (Spycraft) while crocheting until 11-11.30 am. Updated 121 my sheet. Contemplated doing a presentation for 121. Took 20 minutes nap. Had lunch at about 1:15 PM. Was going to do ESI. Got that call from Camcy. Had 121 at 2:30 pm - 4 pm. Baring about 15 minutes. Finished up chicken skin while watching a movie. Took a bath at 5 pm. Pam susu 5:15 pm. Out of the house at 5:45 pm. Reached home at about 7 pm. Brag meeting at 8pm. Dinner at 8:45pm. Put Aufa to sleep 10 pm. And here I am. No wonder I feel like I've done nothing. I feel bad just listing down these things. I don't know why I'm resisting and procrastinating. Tomorrow aku nak kena hantar dah kerja tu. It's not like I don't know what to do. Aku pun tak tau la. I don't know what role I want to take up. At one point, I like the managing part. Sometimes I just want to hide and do behind the scenes work. Is it because I'm supposed to have my period, my hibernating stage? I want to get systems done, in place for 7thlumen so that I don't have to do design work. I want to find someone who is going to do:


    Bila aku tengok the title "Branding Consultant" kat title BNI aku, I feel like such a fraud. On instinct, it doesn't sit right with me. I can actually

    It didn’t go as planned…

    ... and I'm a bit disappointed. My plan to get at least 5 Santa cosy jar bases done over the weekend didn't go as I thought it would. The intention

    Some childhood shit

    Aku bangun pagi ni, mood tak elok sikit. I guess it was my own fault for going through social media & WhatsApp messages the first thing when I wak


    Aku rasa serabut sekarang. Faiz punya homework has a lot of catching up to do. My workspace/room is a mess. Not mess, just really cluttered because th

    35-fucking-years old

    Today is my birthday. And I immediately cry after writing that. I don't know why. And almost immediately as well, I tell myself to stop it. I di