Unexpected revelation

Good morning. I'm starting journaling again, online. I did before on my iPad, but now that school has started again, I find that I don't have enough time to write. And that has been an excuse for me to not journal. So I decided to type. I'm still sleepy. I want to go back to sleep, actually. But Fariz is already awake. He wanted to go up to Mama's room, but Mama is also sleeping. So he's here next to me, on the iPad. My brain is still processing, my eyes are heavy and I'm yawning. But I'm doing this anyway, 15-30 minutes. I have a meeting later today with Mr Tyller from Perak. He wants to do a packaging for his product. I haven't given him the price yet, but Syam says he should be expecting the price because he got our number from someone in Bernas/ERA/Jasmine. Well, maybe, but I really don't think we should be charging the same price for individuals or startups, or non-corporate companies. But yeah, whatever. I'm just going to thought-dump now, rather than thought journal. People are stupid. People on Facebook are stupid. People who write statuses on Facebook are stupid. I usually don't like to dump all of the people together, because I know there are people that are different. But as of this morning, I'm just pissed. And I want to let it out. And these people are in my friends' list. I don't know what the fuck happened, but they seem dumber than before. Than before getting married, having kids. For one, maybe it's because there's she's not working. The other, probably just taking an easy way out. Another just compares themselves to everyone and feels shit all the time, but never would they show it to the public. It's always happy life, perfect marriage, perfect kids with them. Fuck. I hate Facebook. Lol. Love-hate. I don't love it, I need to use it as a platform to advertise and get "up-to-date" with the current trends of my target audience. I prefer Instagram or Tik Tok. They're funnier. Not so much self-righteous, holier-than-thou shit. I'm going to make coffee for a bit. Brb. I made a mistake of going on Facebook for a bit, and I saw my friend replied to my comment. And FUCKING HELL STOP PUTTING EVERYTHING ON FATE. "Rezeki masing2 sis" <-- about me knowing about hypnobirthing and she didn't. Motherfff, you're in the same fucking group as I am. You were presented the SAME access as I did. The difference is I CHOSE to learn it, and you didn't. What the fuck is a normal contraction? Yours is more pain is it? Or is it more weird? How the fuck do you know if your contractions are normal or NOT?? Regularity? It wasn't regular with my 3rd. It's just depending on your fucking pain threshold MY GOD. And that's why hypnobirthing was CREATED. To manage labor pains smh omg I'm ded. I had to ask. HAHAHAHA. FUCK I can't help myself. I had to ask what's wrong with her contractions. In one way to privately diminish her, and in one day to also understand her thinking. And I can bet it's silly. God. Well, I guess it easier, you know. Blame it on fate. "I'm a victim because this thing happened to me and I didn't have it easy like anybody else." FUCK! I'm glad I'm not close to her anymore. Alhamdulillah. Don't need this small kind of mindset. Now I feel a bit bad, but meh. What can you do? Like Vasos said, don't waste your energy on people who don't want to be helped. It's funny, you know. There are people who say they want help, but when you offer them help, it turns out they just want you to agree with them, agree that they're victims. Agree that their life is hard, that their obstacles are unique to them. I  guess, let them be. Let God deal with them. They're leaving it all up to fate anyway. God, that's another concept that I don't get. "Everything is written, if Allah made me this way, then this is how I am."

RMO Day 77

Hi good morning. The affirmations are great, I don't think I'm not good enough anymore. When I feel down, I understand I'm human, that it's normal, an

Daily Gratitude #17

  • Finished the damn EDM. Learnt something new though, so I’m not complaining.
  • Made Ruby juices and kept them in breastmilk storage bags to freeze it. So I don't have to juice everyday. Ingenious.

Daily Gratitude #15

  • Bought fruits for juicing!
  • Contemplated between quitting Billplz or not. Not entirely sure what to do. I’m grateful for having an internal discussion with myself.

Daily Gratitude #14

  • I heard some improvement tips yesterday on Marie Forleo, and it suggested to keep an improvement goal tracker. So I’m using for my JS course. I’ve been paying monthly subscriptions but didn’t do it, so sad. But I did it this morning and I’m quite happy.

Daily Gratitude #13

  • Faliq’s first day with the babysitters at Taska today. I was worried if he would act up because there’s no milk. But apparently he was so easy to handle, Alhamdulillah!

Daily Gratitude #12

  • Decluttered my wardrobe! Practically cleared out HALF of my closet space. Time to buy new clothes lol. Which is great because Syam ada duit loll

Daily Gratitude #11

  • Continued my decluttering around the workspace. It’s much better now. And somehow the website I’m working on is loading faster.

Daily Gratitude #10

  • I found my other Leuchttrum 1917 notebook, thank God. Been looking for it for ages and found it today when I really need it! It’s my diary journal, so I’m quite secretive about it.