RMO Day 25

Government extended RMO to another 14 days, it was expected. It’s expected another 2 weeks lagi. I feel like I have to plan for the business, to

RMO Day 21

I wanted to do this after my exercise, but let’s just do it anyway.

I realise that I’m still thinking of the how. What I mean is, when I look back at my past journal entries, it’s about LOA. I try to feel good to attract good things.

RMO Day 20

I am a bit concerned. I am feeling a bit lost. As to, nak buat apa. For the company. This RMO is really making me be really laid-back, to the point yang I’m not doing anything about the company.

RMO Day 12

This is awesome.

What is my business goal? What is my expectation from BNI? Right now I feel bothered by the things I have to do for BNI, because I didn’t set any expectations. Well, there is. I mean, I didn’t expect to get business from it, just to network. And because of that expectation, I feel like banyak effort to put in just to network.

RMO Day 11

I’m at this feeling where I don’t want to do anything. Like, work-wise. Career-wise. I just want to stay where I am. Aku malas nak cari client baru, malas nak think of our “systems”, what services we offer, nak update company profile, 121 sheet, nak 121 or whatever.

RMO Day 9

I finished the proposal. I feel a bit awkward sending it today, but I think that was proposal was good. Great. To be used as template. It’s something I’m extremely satisfied with. Like it’s better than the ones before. Of course it will be updated along the way, but this version, I feel it’s ready. I think it’s better explained.

RMO Day 8

I don’t want to do it.

I don’t want to do proposals. I don’t want to meet clients. I don’t want to do invoices. I don’t want to do any of the work.

My Money Relationship

I needed to do this. I haven't been journaling for a while, but then this realisation hits me, and I need to write. And it's going to be super uncomfortable and I will want to find ways to be distracted, and that's okay. I'll allow it and then get back to journaling. I don't know how Brooke suggested 10 minutes to thought download, I take 30 minutes AT LEAST.

Morning EFT

I didn't thought download this morning, I did EFT instead. I found back the list of emotional baggages I did in 2018, when through the first 3-4 points to see if I still felt anything. And I did for some, so I decided to try tapping for it. It was easier than imagining up the past and to say "I forgive you" and all that I was supposed to do. I didn't I know about this sooner? But then I don't know la if it will be gone forever or the emotions will come back. I did EFT of these emotional baggages:

    Unfinished businesses and accepting the feelings

    I sort of know what I want to thought download about today. About why I don’t finish a project or why I quickly move on to something else. Not just why la, the whole thing. What was my thought? A lot. Tak best la. Lambat la. Banyak kerja la nak buat benda tu. Rasa excited at just the prospect of it. But bila dah start tu, jadi takde mood. Macam, oh, boring la. Wasn’t what I expected. Macam Hockademy. Mula-mula nak, bila dah dapat, hmm tak buat-buat. Figment. Kerina nye straws Tya nye sambal Planning part, churning out ideas - no, “possibilities” - is exciting. The possibility of what it could become. But bila nak make it become something, I back down? Why ah? I wasn’t anticipating the hard work? I know there’s going to be work, and at that moment, I want and willing to work for it. But after a while it sizzles out. I think because of the thoughts la. Half way through, I’d think, too long la benda ni, aku ada banyak lagi benda nak kena buat. Yang lagi penting. And then most of the time, I’d ended up not doing anything.