Some childhood shit

Aku bangun pagi ni, mood tak elok sikit. I guess it was my own fault for going through social media & WhatsApp messages the first thing when I wak

Money Love Story: Peak Moments

Three times in my life that I felt my best:
  1. That night a few days before New Year of 2018/2019 where I felt like shit and started writing down the things I've accomplished and I felt so proud. I was at a low point in my life. I'd just given birth, I felt nothing was going right, nothing changed. Still in confinement. Then I question myself, is it really true that I've done nothing worthy for the past 1 year? And so I took my iPad and wrote down the things I DID do that year. And I realised, I did a lot. I just didn't give myself any credit for it. Because I was expecting a big change, that I didn't even know what.

Kepada yang terbeban

I don't feel too good. I feel depressed. I feel down. I feel like giving in. I feel angry. I feel disappointed. I feel being let down. I'm angry with

Money Love Story: Free Association on Financial Shame

Freewriting on things I spent money on that I've ashamed of. I've made quite a few questionable financial decisions in my life, but most of I can let go. But one that sticks out like a sore thumb is... my purchases on raw materials for Figment. The PU leathers, the zip sliders, the zip tape. When I look at it now, I still feel embarrassed. I don't even know where to start. So many emotions, words, thoughts. I started sewing with this thin PU leather that I bought from Etsy. I successfully made 2 pouches. Then I made box cases for Maryam. Then I had an idea to sell and start a business, and the next thing I did was buy 3 x 10 feet rolls of PU leather, 3000 zip sliders in 3 colours and 100m of zip tape. I had dreamt big. I really went all in. And this was in 2017. I've made some wristlets, sold a few at bazaars. Then I couldn't make more.

    Money Love Story: Putting Practical Practices to Work

    Forgive and Love Yourself

    Thankfully, I'm in a better place with my money right now. I'm grateful for the i-Sinar help that I took advantage of. It helped me propelled my account balances which makes me not anxious and depressed anymore. It makes me think more clearly about my future finances. Although I haven't actually taken the time to really check on my finances. Which is something that I want to improve on. I don't want to make the same mistakes I did 10-15 years ago. I didn't have savings (which I still don't), I was reckless with my money, I didn't think of the future as much (at all). I was reckless and I didn't bother to check my balance. I'd assume I have money. Until I don't. But I don't borrow money, I'm egotistical like that, lol. Nah, I just didn't like to ask for money. But all these, are of course when I was younger, naive, immature. I do regret not saving or making better financial choices before (which could help me at the present time). But I wouldn't be here if I did. But isn't that better? If I knew what I was doing before? But the fact is, I didn't. And I accept it. I forgive myself, and I love myself. I accept my mistakes, and I'm ready to make a conscious decision with my money. I promise to be a financially aware person for my future self. I'm going to use my past experience as a learning curve. "Takpe Dayana, chill. "