A Quick Note on Feelings

So I had that rant about my sister earlier, and I felt a lot of emotions building up. Overwhelmed, and I couldn’t stop the tears. I had to let it out somehow. I can’t yell or scream or break things, so tears then.

My husband followed me into my room as I sat down. It’s pretty obvious I was crying. But he didn’t notice and turned around to get out (like he was just realising why he was following me). He was completely unaware that I am, at that moment, crying.

And I am amazed. I literally thought, “wow, men really are something”. It completely took me out of the angry thoughts. Like, yanked me out. And I’m in a state of awe.

Then my brain was telling me that the appropriate reaction is to be annoyed by his oblivion. And I wanted to say something. I was still debating whether to ask him if he didn’t see me cry and why should I ask him? And he left without saying anything to me (because he’s late to pick up Faiz). I’m just chuckling here now and I’m going to tell him when he comes back. Now that I’m in a better mood.

But wow. Like, in a snap. My overwhelmed feelings were just changed to something completely different. And good job to myself for staying with the new, improved feeling rather than trying to prolong the anger by picking a fight with Syam.

Does my previous anger need to be addressed? I don’t feel the need to. Or the “want” to do so. So yeah, I’m just going to let it be, now that I can. And I hope my actions after this is not affected anymore by the repressed anger I had earlier. I’ve let it out a bit.

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *