Night thoughts

Suddenly aku rasa overwhelmed and the feeling of not being good enough came up. I was crocheting, and thinking about the tonton proposal, then I thought about Ayu and that I need to call her.

Thought about the kuih I got and remembered Nazimah’s tunang where Wan said dia tanak makan kuih Serendah. Then thought about the time when Shara kahwin and Aunty Jamalia & Faridah ordered the fruit thingy and I found the dead fly and everyone thought they gave bad fruits on purpose. I thought “what a stupid shit”

Then I remembered her on the video call and thought she looked good and that I must’ve looked like shit with my super dry, scaly skin and kelam kabut pegang Aufa. And I don’t know why that got to me.

Like I need to be collected.

So how am I doing emotionally today?

I guess not so good. Yeah. Have a bit of temper. Did I? I think I had a lot of patience. To not yell when Fariz was having a tantrum/willfulness. Or stuff the chocolate bun to his face even though I really felt like it and even got the OK to do it from Syam.

I should give myself a bit more credit, although I don’t feel like it as much.

What do you think?

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