- Go back to the Prince Charming you identified in the last exercise. What qualities does that person or that entity have that make you feel safe and taken care of? List as many of them as you can here and feel free to describe them in as much detail as you desire.
- They have money. They have a source of money every month. Mama from Ayah Adam& Abg Non (prolly), Elixir from clients.
- I know that they have a few hundred thousand
- I know to get it from them
- Someone else is putting in work for it
- I feel like they owe me or have to take care of me
- I feel like they wouldn’t mind because they have money. But these are not qualities, is it?
- Qualities… Abundant.
- Always there (feels like it for now) / Constant
- Will help no matter what
- Tersedia. Rumah, makanan.
- Feels responsible for others’ wellbeing
- Look at your list of qualities you have to describe your Prince Charming. Take a pen and circle the qualities on that list that also describe you. Even if you feel like one of them could use some beefing up in you, highlight it in some way.
- Choose two of the qualities you circled from your list. What is one action step you could take to enhance and nurture each of those qualities in yourself? These action steps must be specific and able to be completed within the next two weeks. Put the dates in your calendar.
- Eat eye gummies every day
- Pay more attention to Faiz
- Have compassion when Syam complains about his health
- Show a bit more interest in Nazimah’s wedding preparations (offer to do invitations or pick a theme)
Wow, I don’t know man. It’s really hard. I can’t even seem to find the qualities in Mama that makes me feel safe. Other than tersedia lah. As in there’s a house for me to stay in, food for my kids and me to eat, money. What qualities are these? Care? Responsible? Generous? I guess I should just add them to the list.
I guess it’s hard because I don’t have a good relationship with my mom, so I automatically think of her bad side or bad attitude. Like when she’ll just yell and nag without clarifying stuff with us. Throwing assumptions and all that. But now I’m forced to see and dig her underlying positive side. I have to admit, it’s quite hard and makes me cringe to acknowledge. I mean, I’ve always told people that she’s garang, but kind. But I’ve never actually felt it when I say it.
And a part of me now wants to forgive her, but there’s a bigger more overpowering part of me (the ego) that is saying “No, don’t. Don’t acknowledge it or I’ll lose my superior thought over her.” It’s giving me shivers. I don’t feel comfortable in accepting that she really is kind. Because she masks it up in this authoritative nature and cold-like, so it’s hard to warm up to her.