Part 1: Money Memory
My strongest childhood memory about money isn’t during childhood but in young adult years. Where my mom was lying blatantly to my uncle about me and money, while trying to run away from me after I confronted her about her lies. She was still trying to lie through the phone, while I follow her around. I felt kind of triumphant from catching her in the act, but also betrayed. I felt hurt more.
As for childhood, there’s not one that sticks out the most. But more like flashes of memories that I feel like it’s with a recurring issue. And that is how my mom would spend money and my dad being unhappy. My dad trying to get her not to spend so much but she didn’t care. Plus my grandpa gives her money too (I think, it feels like it), and my dad wasn’t happy to get handouts. Like he can’t handle her or something.
I don’t know where I get that from. Maybe when I saw it and experience it as a child, I didn’t understand. But now that I’m older, I understand and am able to read the situation. Interesting.
Part 2: Top Money Frustration
Definitely, the idea that I’m not able to buy a house. Can’t afford to buy a house that I want to live and raise my kids in, with MY VISION. Not just any house. But a house I have envisioned. That is definitely the #1.
I still want to list down the second one, which is not making money from Figment business.
Part 3: Making the Connection
Is there a connection? I don’t know. What I can see is that probably living a lie? Like having a big house in a prime location, but not actually having money.
That’s where I am now. I’m living with my mom in a huge house in a prime location, owning 2 higher standard cars, but I can’t afford my own place to live. It’s like… because I can’t have it, because I feel like I can’t have it, I make small purchases often, to maybe trick myself into thinking that I am abundant with money.
Again, interesting. Living a lie, getting handouts. That’s me and my mom lol.
I wonder where is this going to take me, because I don’t quite like being called out like this haha.