I have ill feelings towards people

I realise I’m having not-so-nice thoughts about other people’s “perceived” success. And I tend to come up with excuses. “Anak ko dua orang boleh ah”.

Hey, but that is sort of true.

The people who macam “have it all*” kononnya, ada 2 anak je. Have it all – ada rumah sendiri, ada income, boleh masak untuk anak-anak, do activities with them like walking, homework etc. Eg: Put Rex, Nadstuff,

I get tired just thinking about going out with all my kids. I think my husband is, too.

I get bitter and envious when I see them. And I get sick thinking when can I do that too? My youngest kids are still small.

Hmm… I also know Diena, Kaz, Cellene, Nad, Maryam. But I don’t feel envious/threatened by them? Maybe because I know they shits like me lol. Maybe because they don’t post their “success” sangat, just daily activities? Actually sama je semua. Maybe because I know they’re shits too. I mean, they have negativity too. So I don’t feel so bad about myself?

Macam mana aku nak keep a good feeling thought if I don’t think good thoughts..

What do you think?

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