The Model on work

Journaling really does help me in a lot of ways. Keeping my emotions in check, my thoughts in check. Helps me find solutions or understand something better. Understanding myself better.

And I’m really grateful that I could stop, and notice when I’m not in a good place and try to do something about it. Like now, my kids are all taking naps and I could either also take a nap or work on the pending stuff that I have, but I chose not to. I’m not that sleepy, which is why I didn’t take the nap. But I am hesitating to do work, like design work.

Whenever I want to start work on a design job, I have all these sorts of “protocols” or rules or information that I need in order for me to start. And even when I have those ready, I’d still find something else to question, which delays the starting of the job. I don’t know why I do this.

I know a part of me thinks that I can’t design. Because I think I want to do a certain design, but then it doesn’t come out as I imagined. Or I’d find a reference (or not) and I’d still am not able to replicate it.

The thing is, do I want to do design? Am I forcing myself to do design? Well, yes I am. Because Syam won’t do the small projects.

Now, I’ve decided to stop taking new projects and work on existing clients & updating 7thlumen’s stuff. But there are small design projects from before that I still need to finish. And I don’t know.

I just want to get it done. So, I don’t think there’s really an issue of getting me hyped up to work on it. The problem is getting me to STAY on it, to keep working on it. To not second guess myself and just get it done. Not to entertain “new” ideas while I’m working on the initial one (or not even started yet). Not entertaining, “Oh, what if you do it like this? I think it’ll look better”. Then I’ll start working on it, and 10 minutes later, “oh, that’s not going to work. Let’s try another layout.”

It’s frustrating.

So let’s apply The Model here.

Current:

R: Not getting anything done
A: Keep changing ideas
F: Insecure
T: This is not good enough
C: I have 3 Avisol flyers due

I need to get out of that loop. So I need come in at the T line, and change my thought.
What is the RESULT I want to have? What is the obstacle I’m facing? Too many “ideas”. Let’s reverse engineer this.

R: Finish the first draft.
A: Just do it.
F: Nervous. Forced. Fuck it.
T: I won’t know if it’s good enough if I don’t finish it and show it to the client.
C: I have 3 Avisol flyers due

That seems like it. Let’s sit on it. Let’s find a reference that I can use, and stick to it. And I’m going to give myself 30 minutes to find a reference.

What do you think?

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