It’s okay

I’m pretty sure it’s stress. Stress-related. My skin condition. The itchiness. Maybe not exactly stress, negative emotions more precisely.

I’m going to try to journal again every day.

I had my session yesterday with Vasos, after a long time. I think the last time I talked to him was last year. We’re going to do hypnotherapy for my anger in our next session. I’m definitely ready for that now, the anger is not serving me anything anymore now. It’s just bringing me down and putting a lot of weight on me, and I can’t seem to do work. I just keep wanting to escape, to distract, and it’s really not healthy.

But I don’t know of any other way to release the anger all at once, so I’m looking forward to the hypnotherapy. Or else it’s going to take a long time for me to move on. Years, I’m sure.

I find myself not being able to work, sleep at night and enjoy life. I’ll be on social media, keep scrolling on post after post and I don’t know why. There’s nothing interesting, and I’m really sleepy and tired, but I just won’t stop scrolling. It’s not good. It’s bad, and I don’t like it.

I had a hunch to read a book, so I know that I’m at a slightly better place than yesterday.

I know there’s a lot for me to be grateful for, so I “shouldn’t” feel bad. But, hey, I do, and that’s okay. I’m not going to beat myself up, I’m not going to tell myself to snap out of it, because I know I will. I know I will in my own time. And the time is coming. The time is coming where I’m sick of being angry, depressed. And I want to move on.

I don’t like going back to that negative state, but I know it can and will happen. And again, it’s okay. I don’t like it, but I’m in it, it’s fine.

Take a deep breath, journal every day and InsyaAllah I’ll have a clear head. 🙂

What do you think?

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