Limited income

I know I have access to a lot of money. But why is my income so little? Kenapa aku ambil RM5,000 je bulan-bulan, sedangkan my commitments are way higher than that? Why am I not taking more?

Thoughts:

  1. I don’t work as much.
  2. I don’t put in as much work.
  3. I don’t do design work, when I am running a design company.
  4. I meet more people in BNI than actually doing work.
  5. I’m slow doing design work.

* But when I write these first 3 points down, I feel something in me fighting back. I might not do design work, but I do other works. Invoice, proposal, quotations, meeting people. Then I feel macam tak de la apa sangat aku buat. I feel like putting me down again.

But all these have nothing to do with getting income. I suppose I believe that I don’t deserve to get more because I’m not doing as much as Syam. Or I just think I’m not doing as much? Like, I don’t have a benchmark for myself. I don’t have a way to measure myself. Maybe I feel I’m not working hard enough.

But what is working hard enough?

Can I do design? No. I can, but I’m slow and I’d rather do something else.

Omg, it’s this topic again. What the heck is my job description anyway? We’re just going in a loop, man.

The point of this journal was, “Why is Dayana not taking more income?”. And the answer we’ve come up with is, “Because she thinks she’s not doing enough to deserve more income.”

And we ask, “What can she do to deserve more? Is it TRUE that she’s not doing enough? What can she do to feel like she’s doing enough?”

She answers:

  1. Bring in more monthly revenue to the company.
  2. Actually finish the work that she sought out to get, like the brand guide, personal branding, flyer, logo update.
  3. Do the small jobs that Syam doesn’t have time to do, and bring in the money.
  4. Basically just bring in more money.

How does she feel about it?

It makes sense to her, but she knows bringing in more revenue takes a lot of work and has a lot of process. It’s not something that you do and immediately get rewarded. It’s sort of like compounding interest.

Now, if she takes more income, enough to cover her commitments, do you think she’ll have more initiative? Do you think she’ll be more invested in the design work? She has initiative, obviously, but usually she gets distracted, tired or sleepy. Would increased salary be a good incentive for her?

She doesn’t dare to commit. She has hesitation. She’s thinking. She doesn’t want to make a mistake of overpromising and underachieving. Which we can translate to her not having confidence in herself.

Let’s give her extra income this month, to alleviate her financial worries. To alleviate the stress she’s putting on herself about working & money. Let’s do this as an experiment. And see how it affects her, either positively or negatively.

Let’s allocate an extra RM2000 for her, minus the Mazda expenses.

What do you think?

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