RMO Day 49

So I have this BNI Marketing webinar we’ll be doing, it’s this Saturday. It’s happening, so it’s too late for me to back out or anything, unless some really urgent emergency happens. I don’t know what to do? But now I’m trying a different approach to my thinking, rather than saying I don’t know, or whatever with a negative word in it, I try to make it sound solvable.

Instead of “I don’t know what to put out?”, I say, “what can I put out?”. So it gets the brain going, although not necessarily will be getting the answer straight away. It makes my brain open rather than shut it off and not think about it. Plus it makes me feel better too, even though I hesitate doing it. Heh.

On a different topic, I feel really strongly about starting back sewing Figment. But at the same time, I have concerns as well. Mainly time and a place to make them. Other than constructing it is time consuming, there’s also the marketing and sales part of it. When do I make it and then do 7thlumen as well?

Why do I want to do it? I can think of 2 reasons:

  1. I don’t feel like I deserve to take 7thlumen money.
  2. I feel bad about the amount I’ve spent on the materials to make the bags and it’s lying there.

And since there’s not much 7thlumen stuff to do during this MCO, it just seems to increase this need to sew and sell even more.

Sometimes I expect to get answers straight away when I thought download. But that’s not the point, right? It’s a bonus, but it’s mainly for me understand my thoughts better. To observe my thoughts and feelings, and introduce new thoughts that will make me better and evolve.

I keep seeing and thinking this thought, and Vasos has pointed this out a number of times. Not worthy, not feeling good enough, undeserving. But I am good enough, I am worthy, I am deserving. I don’t know where the thoughts come from, maybe from my childhood. Whatever it is, it’s buried deep within, but fortunately, it’s starting to come out. It’s no longer hiding and lurking and making me confused about my life. I see it now, I see the thoughts, and I choose not to believe it. I choose to believe that I am worthy, I am good enough and I am deserving.

I deserve to have my own home. I am worthy of receiving more money. I am good enough to work on 7thlumen AND Figment and my family.

If we rent that 3-storey house in Hartamas, there should be a space on the lower ground where I can do my sewing. I can do during my pantang, I suppose.

What do you think?

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