RMO Day 33

I’m not noticing any thoughts other than I’m surprised I’m not hungry. I’m in a neutral state now, my mood is not high or low. My thoughts are neither negative or positive.

I want to send Maryam’s manual over today.
I want to finish designing my blog.
I want to do case studies for 7thlumen.
I don’t want to do the PT marketing webinar. Why?

  • I don’t know what to talk about.
  • I feel like a fraud.
  • It’s a waste of my time.
  • They’re not my target audience.
  • I just want to sit in the backseat.
  • I’m not in the mood.
  • I don’t want to do another presentation.
  • I suck.
  • I don’t know what to talk about.
  • I’ve never actually done branding.
  • I have to catch up on all the branding tutorials.
  • Who the fuck came out with this thing anyway?
  • I’m already feeling so low staying at home this long with the kids. Now I have to work extra with the kids calling me every 2 minutes. I can’t even string a proper thought in 2 minutes.

All these thoughts are giving me – anger, resistance, hate, dislike, rebelling.
Actions – procrastinating, rejecting, not doing it.
Results – feeling anxious & more resistance.

So what can I do?

  • Tell them I don’t want to participate. Consequences?
    • I’m going to feel left out, although I decided not join.
    • They probably won’t invite me to do anything else.
    • Even if they’re ok with it, it’s going to to affect their view on me as a business person.
    • My credibility will be going down.
  • Adjust my thoughts and just go with it.

– Why don’t I want to do it?
Because I don’t know what to say?
– Why?
Because I’ve never actually done branding before.
– Why?
Because this is my first time. I’ve been a front end developer all my life.
– What do you need to do to do the presentation?
Shaii didn’t know what she was talking about when she did the mobile responsive presentation. I guess I needed to “be the expert”. I’m going to present to people who have no idea what I’m doing or the industry. I need to be “great” at what I do, even if I’m not. Fake it, basically.
– Do you want to do it?
I’m apathetic, bordering apprehensive. But I know I have to go through it anyway, they’re not going to let me off the hook. Ughhh I hate “have”. It changes the mood to everything.
– Do you want to do it?
I want to do it, but I don’t know what to talk about.
I want to do it, and I know what I want to talk about that will benefit the audience. It just hasn’t come yet.
I want to do the marketing presentation, and I know what I want to talk about that will benefit the audience and it’s coming to me. The idea is on it’s way to me. I will have it by 4pm today.

What do you think?

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