RMO Day 31, 2nd Edition: Late night rant

This is the new normal now. Sure, it might just only be for the next 14 days, (it might be longer), but this IS the situation NOW.

Now somewhere deep down I’m thinking of getting back to work soon. I’m thinking I’ll be more productive when I’m back in the office. But that can’t wait, right?

I’m thinking my kids are around, I can’t pay attention to my work when they’re around. I’m not comfortable to do work here. It’s too hot, the chair is not made for sitting long hours. The table is a mess.

I can’t tell what day it is. I just want to laze around. Do nothing. Watch Netflix, knit, nap. Even when I don’t nap, I don’t know what I do.

I don’t know what is 7thlumen’s future. I don’t know what’s my future.

I’m not feeling good. I’m feeling nauseous & gassy. I want to exercise but I’m pregnant. I’m sleepier.

Faiz is annoying & irritating. He keeps on whining and sulking and I fucking hate it.

I’m going in a spiral. Downwards. It’s almost midnight and I’m not sleepy. I can’t sleep. Maybe because too much screen.

I miss feeling alive. I miss being not pregnant. I hate this. I hate where I am now. I want my RM15,000 monthly salary, but I honestly don’t know if I’m ever going to get it.

I’m fcking annoyed with Arul’s dogs, goddammit!!

What do you think?

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