RMO Day 26

I haven’t journal about this yet, but I’m deep down, I’m pissed with my husband.

I don’t think he’s taking us seriously.

Yesterday he slept at 2:45am after playing FIFA20, the same game he’s been playing since a few weeks.

He cannot admit his flaws as a husband, a father.

He wants to play games? Yeah, sure go ahead. Since it’s the RMO and there’s not much to do anyway. But you know what I’d like for him to start thinking about? A new place to live.

I’ve been bringing it up since Fariz, but he’s like, oh, buat apa nak pindah. I’m like, dude, we’re having number #5 coming. Are you really expecting us all to sleep in one room, with no proper place to do homework & play? Plus this house is NOT child friendly. We have to “jaga-jaga” with all the stuff because it’s fucking expensive.

It’s like when we got married. I moved into his house, and he hasn’t made any space for me to move into. Not even the cupboard for me to put my clothes in. And I only just needed one drawer. That fucking hurt me.

I want to move out. I want my own place. This house is nice, yeah, and comfy because I have my mom doing the groceries, cooking and what not, but I want to cook. I want to feel freedom to do what I want. To become a mother. And how can I do that?

How to move out? How to own my own place?

  1. Scout for house
  2. Decide to rent or buy
  3. If buying, definitely want to renovate, so calculate monthly house payment and renovation costs. Or, put renovation on hold, buy furnitures.
  4. Take loan
    1. Need a lot of documents
    2. Need EPF statements, so start contributing
      1. Need to make more money, RM5k ain’t gonna cut it with the commitments I have.
        1. Sell bags. I don’t have a proper sewing machine, and Aida used my fabric scissors to cut plastic ohemgee
        2. Sell cupcakes.
        3. Offer website services?
        4. Sell stuff online
        5. Sell knit stuff?
        6. Continue drawing on Chaqcheebo and take commissions
      2. How much do I need? No, how much do I WANT? RM15,000. No doubt.
  5. Sign agreement
  6. Pack essentials
  7. Move
  8. Settle in

I have decided I don’t want to wait for my husband, or the business to grow to get this goal. I want to buy a house in Hartamas area, because malas nak Faiz pindah sekolah and everything is pretty much here already.

So my decision is to make RM15,000 every month, where I will spend:

  • RM5,000 on my existing monthly commitments (ASB, credit card, phone bills, PTPTN, everything on my spreadsheet).
  • RM1,500 on EPF contributions
  • RM500 emergency money
  • RM1,000 on savings (which I will put in stocks or FD or whatever that gives me returns)
  • RM1,000 for house furnitures & renovations
  • RM500 groceries
  • RM1000 kiara bills (for as long as I’m staying here)
  • RM1000 kids stuff
  • RM500 to Papa / Aunty (optional)

And for the next 5 months (until September), I don’t have to pay:

  • ASB loan (RM613)
  • CBD3 house loan (RM1178)

But I already screwed this month, so let’s start with May lololol. If Shirley decides to move out from Cyberjaya, I would have to return her deposit which is 2 months, so I have to return to her RM2600.

Until September, I will have:
CBD: RM1178 * 4 = RM4,712
ASB: RM613 * 5 = RM3,065
TOTAL: RM7,777 (woah…)

Oh, look, by the end of the moratorium, I can buy a sewing machine. But, is THAT really what I want?

Babe, think of the bigger picture. See the abundance. Feel that money coming to you now. That RM7k, feel like you have it. Feel your heart grow. Feel the chills on your skin. Feel the buzzing in your fingers. You have that money. You know it. It’s not about the amount, it’s about receiving. It’s awesome. It’s not about what you can buy with it, it’s that you HAVE IT.

LIVE THIS. FEEL THIS.

What do you think?

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