My Money Relationship

I needed to do this. I haven’t been journaling for a while, but then this realisation hits me, and I need to write. And it’s going to be super uncomfortable and I will want to find ways to be distracted, and that’s okay. I’ll allow it and then get back to journaling.

I don’t know how Brooke suggested 10 minutes to thought download, I take 30 minutes AT LEAST.

Skrang ni, aku sedar, aku pikir nak duit jer. But aku sebenarnya nak apa yang duit boleh beli. Kan?

I wrote this before. Then it’s been playing on my mind and I want to talk about it. I think now I understand what Brooke was saying. Maybe because my vibrational desire is much higher, that I’m understanding it now.

Why do I always want money? The first thing that will come to my mind, is money. But in reality, it’s not exactly money that I want, I want the things money can give me. Why do I want RM15,000? Because it feels good. See? That amount of money gives me a good feeling. I don’t even need to think about what to buy with it, I just need to feel good with it – OHMAIGOD I finally understanddddd! This was what Brooke was saying, staying with the money. Not hoarding, just FEEL it. Feel of having it.

I have money, in savings, in investments. But I don’t FEEL it. I put it to work. I don’t treat it like Fariz or Faliq when they come to hug me, I don’t allow it or I don’t hug it. I push the money away. In the belief that I will make more money, and that’s what I should do.

I don’t need to think about why I want that money. I don’t need to think what I want to buy with that money. I just need to feel it. I don’t need a reason. I just want it, because it makes me feel good.

The end.

I feel excited, elated, my heart’s pumping, my head is spinning, I feel a whole lighter to figure this out. I feel free, knowing that I don’t need to justify to myself or anyone why I want RM15000 every month. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel very very good. Just like how dressing up makes me feel good. Putting on make up makes me feel good. RM15,000 monthly income makes me feel good. Makes me feel secure. Makes me feel accomplished. Makes me feel like a better person. Thinking I have RM15,000 every month without fail makes me happy.

What do you think?

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