I didn’t thought download this morning, I did EFT instead.
I found back the list of emotional baggages I did in 2018, when through the first 3-4 points to see if I still felt anything. And I did for some, so I decided to try tapping for it.
It was easier than imagining up the past and to say “I forgive you” and all that I was supposed to do. I didn’t I know about this sooner? But then I don’t know la if it will be gone forever or the emotions will come back.
I did EFT of these emotional baggages:
- My dad for putting us in this debt situation. For not informing us about our grandpa. For not being a dad.
The script: Even though my dad is sick & I’m still angry at my dad, I completely & deeply accept myself.
- My mom for never thinking I whatever I did was enough. For comparing me & Anin with other people, & putting them up on a pedestal. For the lies she made about me just to get sympathy and money.
The script: Even though I was made to feel like I wasn’t good enough by own mother, I completely & deeply accept myself.
- My mom promised me when I was 12 that if I aced my UPSR exam, she’d take me Australia. I’ve never been to outside Malaysia and it’s very exciting, and I got my 5As. But she didn’t take me. But when Aida was as young as 9 yo, she got to go to Australia. I didn’t follow. It was unfair. And I didn’t bother to get As for my other exams anymore, cos whatever I do just doesn’t impress her.
The script: Even though I am sad, angry, disappointed and frustrated with my mother for not fulfilling her promise to take me to Australia, I completely & deeply accept myself.
- My dad for calling Abang Khalid know about Ayahwan sick and dying instead of us, the daughters. (I did EFT, but still feel a bit of disbelieve. From super raging anger to mild disbelief.)
The script: Even though I’m super angry at my dad for calling Abang Khalid when Ayahwan was sick and dying instead of his daughters, I completely and deeply accept myself.
I’ve got a freaking long list to go through. Hopefully by the end of the list when I’ve successfully released the baggages and made peace with myself, my eczema goes away.