Just 2 days of not thought downloading made me serabut. I feel lost & out of touch with my goal, even though I repeat it everyday. It was harder to feel it.
I woke up feeling anxious, because there’s a lot of things left to do. Like I was planning to do the Grusonn changes yesterday, but I had to do Hockademy badge instead (I thought Syam was going to do it). I have to prepare contract. Hey susah betul nak thought download or buat apa2 with kids awake. Tapi bila diorg tido, aku pun tido haha.
Do I still believe about my RM12000 salary goal? For a while I lowered in down to RM8000. And I’m actually supposed to put RM15,000 instead, because that’s the ultimate goal. This house sucks. I don’t like staying here. I don’t feel nice here. I don’t feel comfortable here. Not like… bad vibes or bad spirits… I just feel like this is not where I’m supposed to be. This is not where I should settle. I hate this house feeling like (ok, not hate, just dislike) I could do much better with this house. With the amount of money spent on this house and its renovation and furniture, I could do so much better to make me feel at home.
But it’s not my home, right? I’m squatting here, literally.
What’s the worst that could happen, if I moved out? That could happen to me? Cooking, laundry, cleaning. That’s about it, I guess. Extra hand around the house? Hire a maid lah. If I have a smaller, more practical house with less things, there’s less cleaning to do. Less dusting.
I’d have a guest room (really? maybe not. just double one of the rooms as a guest room lah).
– Maid room
– Dining area
– Living area
– Guest room
– Toilet (downstairs)
– 1 master bedroom
– 1 bedroom (to fit all four)
– 1 play room
– 1 study room / work room
– Utility room / store room
– Laundry room
I’ll pull back the house so that we have a bigger backyard.
I think it’s because we don’t know anything about this house. Mama pun tak ambil tahu. So we don’t feel 100% responsible for it, I suppose?
Mahal nak mampus loan. Loan yang buat mahal. Bukan rumah haih.