I had my first session with Vasos, and I’m feeling lighter than ever. He encouraged me to cry, and I found out the one thing holding me back & for feeling that I’m not good enough.
We uncovered that I wanted Mama to acknowledge what I did. I wanted her to tell me, in my face, that she’s proud of me.
And we uncovered if that was really important to me. He did that by asking why Mama can’t tell me what she feels towards me, without any association to me. And we found out that that’s just the way she is.
- she wants to be an authoritative figure
- she doesn’t want to look like a fool (so she needs some kind of a benchmark)
- she’s just screwed up
And doing so, makes me realise that it has nothing to do with me. And craving her approval is not going to do anything.
And it made me feel so much lighter.
He also encouraged me to imagine and feel what it would be like, our relationship, our language towards each other, if I let go.
I definitely feel like I’m my own person. Like I’m not weighed down by expectations or anything else. I feel more free. I feel more detached from my upbringing. I didn’t feel the need to dwell into my childhood past or finding why I feel that way and why I can’t let go.
I can finally let go.
When he asked me if I wanted to list down all the ways my parents mistreated me as a child, I’m like, Meh. Don’t need to anymore.
It was amazing.
But he’s right, I need time to process this newfound feeling. However, I notice I am less inclined to open social media! Amazing. I don’t even have to resist!
Phew. I’m loving this feeling, like I can do anything!
I’m excited. I can believe new things now that I’ve let go of my old beliefs. Even though it was just kn or two, but it was HUGE! It was taking up a lot of space in head, oh wow.