If only I would wake up at this hour everyday. How is it that I can wake up every Friday, and not other days? Is it because there’s something to look forward to? Not really. Sometimes I dread coming to BNI but I still do. Is it because of people’s expectations? Or is it because of my expectations? My expectations of what people may think of me.
Even after doing these thoughtwork, I still think about people’s opinion of me. I guess one good thing about BNI is everyone’s trying to outdo one another, but they can’t be openly judgy so they’re always supportive upfront hahaha. Everything’s a scam, but I do a good job, so I shouldn’t be worried.
Shouldn’t. Me telling myself what not to do.
How the hell can Brooke just suggest 10 minutes of thought download, because it ain’t enough time.
Ok, let’s wrap this up. Mind prep. My kid is still crying in the next room. Oh well, ayah dia ada.
Ok, mind prep for the day. What do I want to feel? Yesterday I didn’t feel fulfilled. While I did do some work, I felt it wasn’t enough, I felt that I didn’t deserve to watch that movie. So what do I want to feel today?
I want to feel like I am getting a RM 10,000 salary. So what’s the first thing I should do? I should stop feeling like it’s not enough. I should stop feeling like my current salary is not enough.
Instead of going sad of looking at the stuff I can’t buy, I should think, “This is something I’ll put in my budget for next month”.
Instead of thinking “I can’t have that now”, think, “I don’t want it now, but I’ll consider it for next month or next year”.
Although these two sentences don’t give me that thing I want, it gives me power to choose instead of succumbing to feeling of dread and scarcity and feeling like I can’t do shit. Just changing that small thought gives me power.
Ok, I do that. Although it is going to be a bit challenging now when I open my bank account and see the balance. But it’s okay, I just need to change a word to and make it feel like I have power over it, instead of it taking over me.