I deserve big, shiny things too!

Why is it that when I want something really awesome and extravagant in my life, I’ll take a step back and think, “Oh but if I have lesser version of it pun ok, as long as I have one”. Why?? Why can’t I ask the Universe for the most luxurious version of an item and not feel guilty about it or not feel like I don’t deserve it? It’s as if I feel like I’m not good enough for it, like I don’t really need that extra width, that extra accessory.

For example, the iPad Pro:
I wanted the 12.9”, but instead I’ll decide to visualise about the 10.5” because, “Oh, it’s too big. I’m not an artist or I’m not going to use it that much like another professional would. I’ll probably end up using it to just watch Netflix. etc etc etc”. Then later I’ll check out the normal iPad and go, “Oh, this is way cheaper and supports the Apple Pencil and keyboard too, I can just have this”.

WHY?

WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME WANTING THE BIG EXPENSIVE ONE??

Why am I stopping myself from wishing big and down voting my self-worth, like I can’t have this nice thing because I’m not that good this, this, this. Am I really THAT underserving?

It’s like, I’m telling myself that I can’t buy a Christian Loubotin shoe because I’m not a celebrity or supermodel. That doesn’t make sense. Why can’t I have a shoe that makes me feel pretty? Does that mean I can’t feel pretty if I’m not famous or have an importance or have a lot of money?

OH HELL NO, OF COURSE I CAN! I VERY DAMN WELL CAN. I DESERVE TO FEEL PRETTY. I DESERVE TO HAVE NICE, EXTRAVAGANT THINGS IN LIFE. Not everything has to be just a necessity, it CAN be a luxury!!

I WANT THAT 12.9” iPAD PRO 512GB SPACE GREY Wi-Fi WITH APPLE PENCIL, SMART KEYBOARD & MIDNIGHT BLUE LEATHER SLEEVE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THROW IN THE LEATHER SMART COVER TOO!!  (Not wi-fi + cellular because I can’t handle extra sim card, too much clutter)

IF THOSE DAMNED SYAHMI & ANAS (not iPad, some similar Windows version) CAN HAVE IT, AND THEY FREAKING HAVE LESS USE FOR IT THAN ME, SO WHY CAN’T I?? (Kidding, they’re not damned, I don’t hate them, it’s just a figure of speech to fire up my spirit).

You know what, Dee? GO AHEAD AND DREAM BIG. You deserve it and you’ll RECEIVE it! Go get that iPad Pro and shoes!

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